To Wed or Not to Wed...

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I have a quick question I want to throw out there regarding marriage.

I’ll give you a little background on my situation and then you can feel free to add your two cents once I am done.

I was married before. I got pregnant at 21 and the best thing to do was to get married. Right? Okay maybe not but that’s what happened.

Turns out – after three kids, and realizing that my husband was a completely (abusive) douchebag.. I knew I had to get out.

I have always loved what marriage stands for and being a wife was something that was important to me. That was before.

I have dated since (some know that story… and what a waste of time that was!) and I have now found a wonderful man (like, crazy wonderful…) but he isn’t into the whole marriage thing.

Okay, let’s give him a little bit more credit than that.

I know, without a doubt in my mind, that he is the man that I am going to spend the rest of my life with.

We both come from homes where we have parents who are still married.

One and only’s.

And we both know that we are it for each other.

But to me – saying it isn’t enough.

And he doesn’t seem to understand this.

We share our lives, our home, my kids, everything… together.

So what is the importance of a stupid piece of paper just to say you are married?

Neither of us is religious – so the whole – promising before God to stay together forever and ever amen is of little importance.

But after that, this conversations enters a standstill.  

I like what marriage symbolizes.

Being united under the law.

Sharing the same last name.

The commitment – I thirst for that solid commitment.

His argument – even once you get married, you never know if that’s it. Marriages end too.

And I should know that seeing as I just happened to get divorced!

In our eyes, our relationship is a marriage in every sense of the word except for that fancy piece of paper to prove it.

So what is with my constant need to WANT TO GET MARRIED?

Sometimes it is because I feel like I need proof that he wants to be with me forever. (My insecurities play in here.)

But you don’t marry someone or want them to marry you for proof.

That’s something you need to know BEFORE you get married.

Marriage isn’t something that seals that deal. It’s something that enhances the relationship.

Anyway – this is one thing that weighs heavy on my mind.

There is so much pressure on the outside to make something look the way it is supposed to – whatever that is.

I need to let go of that and just embrace and enjoy the present.

Where we are - in the here and now.

What are your thoughts on marriage?