It’s funny – I had scheduled the post I wrote on Tuesday, about a week ago.
I didn’t really have the intention or feel the need to rush the conversation with D, but a little wine and some tears can help speed things along real quick. HA!
On Friday night we decided to have a sip of wine before heading to the Casino near our house for dinner.
All was well – and we got into some deep conversations. D isn’t much of a talker – so we started talking about a few things but it was like he just didn’t want to go there.
Of course *I* wanted to go there!
Without dragging a story out, I told D that he was going to have to start opening his yapper and conversing with me or there was going to be trouble on the farm. I’ve got things brewing inside me – and I don’t want to explode! ß Never a good idea to let things brew to the point of explosion.
Out we went, and had a great night. (I won $80 at the casino! Woot!)
We went out on a double date night with some friends of ours on Saturday night.
(Had the BEST pub food that night if you must know)
Our friends left before we did so we had another round of drinks.
All was well.
And then SOMEHOW we got onto the topic of D not talking and things I want to talk about.
That had a waterfall effect.
He told me that marriage just wasn’t for him and that he had told me this at the beginning of our relationship (see **).
That was the end of our fun night.
We headed home immediately – I may or may not have cried a few tears – and the night ended with me slamming a door, him sleeping on the couch and me sleeping in our bed.
Not QUITE how I imagined that would go.
We both needed to cool off though.
And I can tell you that we are not one of those couples who have to go to bed happy and have all of our problems solved.
The next day though was met with absolute silence by the both of us.
Long story short (holy this is a super long story!)
We talked it through.
He told me that while marriage was never on his radar but he knows that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.
If this is my bottom line of what I need/want then he wants to work on getting there too.
My compromise is that I am going to have to be patient with him.
And that totally works for me.
As of about lunch on Sunday I thought for sure we were done.
I love him with all of my heart – but I feel in previous relationship I had given so much of myself up that I just could not let that happen again.
I’m SO happy we talked about it all. It was like a million pound weight was lifted off my shoulders.
**And for those who are wondering – we did talk about all of this at the beginning of our relationship. But when you first start dating and you are in looooooove and all you’re seeing is the good in every situation you don’t talk things through the same way you would 1 year, 2 years, 3 years in. Things change. People change. And while they don’t change for anyone except themselves – I think I was hoping he would see how spectacular and awesome I was and would want to marry me that very instant. Ha! I was fooling myself obviously.**
All is well in the world again.
Oh and here is a picture of our new little baby! More on her soon!